Change in a Heartbeat

It's amazing how a few moments can change your life. Sometimes its a few words, others its actions and sometimes its just a pure accident. Tonight was one of those moments and it caused me to take a few minutes to analyze what can I really do. We had gone to the Nickelback Concert that we had paid for way back in November when they first announced they were coming. We go to the arena early and lined up for a vip passes. Once we entered we were taken up to the lounge area and we waited to get access to the floor. Now I have been to a few concerts and floor they usually have seat and assigned seating. Well these were GA tickets or in a nutshell General Admittance so first come first serve... no chairs so you move from your spot you loses it. Well we managed to stake out spots right by the front and we proceeded to stand for hours going thru two of the opening acts...... it was at the end of Seather that I first saw it..... Medb had gone a very white colour and she was struggling for air and to stay conscious. She summoned one of the security for first aid and in a few minutes she was being lifted over the gates. First Aid was on the scene and after a brief examination she was being taken to the office.

It's right there that I felt helpless, I couldn't do a damn thing, other patrons who had witnessed her being lifted over filled into her spot to hold it.  I must have looked like a lost deer at that moment not able to help, not sure what to do.... and in those few moments you start thinking about whats truly important. The security officer saw me and knew before I had to say it I needed to leave. Up and over the gate I went and I was on Medbs tail under a minute after she got up to the second level.  All awhile my mind is racing and the need to protect and heal are banging in my head and spirit.I quickly located her at the office and when they opened the door i could see her sitting sipping cold water and getting cool air. a feint smile on her face as I entered to sit with her and make sure she was ok.

The emergency was over just a combination of over heating, dehydration and needing some fluids and she was right as rain. For me I could breathe easier and I didn't care about the concert. With outstanding service we were given seat for the remaining concert, the rest of the night was something :).

This brought me to start thinking about my own personality, how I react around Medb when we are together and when I'm alone. Medb brought p the fact that I am a switch,  something my friend Jen had pointed out to Medb in Montreal. When I'm alone I tend to be more female and tend to be a bit more submissive, I allow more feminine characteristics and reactions and behave very different. When I;m with Medb I'm far more dominate, protective and aggressive and I display far more male characteristics. I saw and felt in full force tonight and you know what theres nothing wrong with that, It's just the way it is and in no way makes me any less female. 

It's just who I am ...... 

On a side note during all of this while we were on the floor there was a guy standing behind Medb and close to me. I caught him him smiling at me several times and looking away. He was paying me a compliment but in my head my thoughts were like you are so barking up the wrong tree ... Why did I do that, because I had already judged him against my own feeling about men. One that is unfair because I am judging him on a number of bad apples .... not for what I should be judging him on, his personality and who he is not what he is. It's something that I need to get a hold of soon.

Be Well