First time back in Las Vegas post op and it was met with mixed results. On the business side it was a resounding success. I had a number of old distributors remember weave of dreams, and the man who ran it. Shocked was the theme of the day....but it explained why the website went dark for a few years. All the old accounts we're reset up and we are a go with some new ones as well .... Next year we will be in a position to buy show specials.
I had a great night with fuzz and dee homemade lasagna and chatting on the porch was nice :) . Like the group on imvu they are just as they are online. When I come out in July we will have to get together again. My frustration came with my time alone, I made myself go out and in a city of millions it's hard to feel alone.
The committee in my head started in on me early on Tuesday as I kept watching women interact easily. I started to feel insecure and wonder what was wrong with me. I went shopping and found that it just got worse for me as I realized I had no clue what I want my style to be. I felt out of place in every store I went into. The day went on and I had to stop and breathe and gather myself. Style wise I have to learn all over again, try different things and be daring. If I don't then it's my loss and I can only blame myself.
I keep my gut because it's a shield, I don't dress up or wear much make up because it's a shield. I'm probably one of the most introverted extroverts you'll ever meet. I sat down had a frozen yogurt and calmed. Turned around walked into Fredericks of Hollywood and purchased a classy little black dress and something else... And shipped a few other stores.
I refuse to be bullied by myself, women come in all shapes and sizes and I will find out my style. I've only had 4 years at this and that's not a long time. My guy will be gone those last 40 pounds history soon :) I'm not going to run and hide because it's not me.
Be well
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