Success ?

The words have already started to come... it's getting close are you excited. I am... but not for the reason people think. I am excited for the next phase of my life, school and changes in the way I do things. Regarding my surgery... not at all, no fear, no excitement. It just is what it is a procedure and a minor step in my life really.

For some what I am saying will be met with that's bullshit... you don't know what its like and that will change when you're done. It might but right now this is my reality and my take on it. My hormonal withdrawl has been minimal and not what I expected. I feel within my self that I have already moved past the surgery and its now just a formality.

I went with Rache on our movie night to see Moneyball. There was a scene in the movie where watching a replay of a game we see a heavy set player make a hit and runs towards first. He has never made second base decides to try and as he rounds first stumbles and falls. Frantically crawls towards first and makes it, seeing the fear in his eye for even trying to be more.  A few moments later he learns that hit went 60 feet over the wall for a home run.

 This brings into mind are we afraid to dream and reach for more and risk the fear of failing over the risk of success.  Or should we just accept what we know we can do and never reach for more?

Somewhere in the past year I moved on and hit that home run, but because I was so worried about the possibility of not having the surgery because of my diabetes.  I stumbled and tried to cling to first base not observing what had transpired and only now I  can accept that beautiful feeling of a home run. today I rounded second and soon will hit third base.... and next April I will make home plate by taking my first college class.

All this makes me wonder... what will happen next time I'm up to bat