At the end of the day we all get asked: if you are content being female, why go to such lengths, if you say it's just in your brain? The answer is simple: it empowers me to be acknowledged as my identified gender. It feels right to be called her, she, Miss, Ma'am, bitch. It gives me a sense of self. In my achievements, my failures, my contributions, are at least directed the way they should be. I lived too many years fighting within myself when someone said "He did a great job for me" because it didn't sound right, it didn't feel right. It felt it was somebody else's achievement.
Since the surgery, this will open up more doors for me. This will allow my passport to have an "F" on it with no limitations. I can no longer be disqualified for insurance purposes because I put an "F" instead of an "M" down, and legally my rights for discrimination against being female will actually take effect, not be stuck in some limbo. Does this exclude me as being Trans? Not in the least. I just have designer parts instead of genetics.
I've had a lot of firsts this week. First real use of pads, the feeling of something "filling" me has been disconcerting, strange, yet right all at the same time. True lack of pure male hormones. And since the surgery, I am now turned around and seeing I've just walked out of the house, into the wide world. A truly frightening yet exhilarating experience. Only time will tell what happens. As for now, I think I'll shuffle over to a tree, rest in a hammock with my fiance, and see what tomorrow brings.
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