Contemplation

I know its been awhile since I've written a blog, to long many would say and they would be right. The last year has gone by so quick sometimes I don't know where its gone to.  This summer has been rather stressful with some life changing stressors and the daily micro stressors we all experience on a daily basis. I found myself the last few days with a very short hair trigger , snapping at everyone and everything over any simple action. It wasn't anyone's fault but mine and while I would love to blame it on one of those days I can't... because by doing so would just cause me to bury the problem and put a band aid on it and not address the problem and correct it. 

My problem is the fact that for the better part of the year my perceived version of self and the actual self are out of alignment. I know I'm and extrovert yet a majority of time I act like an introvert. I know how I want to look yet I do the utmost to blend into the background or to make others turn away. I know what I need to do become healthier and attain what I want but I embrace habits that make it harder to achieve. I know I want to succeed but I fall down on the execution to make it successful and right now I know it has to stop....

                                                        "Usted puede cambiar, si quieres"

Spanish for you can change if you want to, and in psychology anyone can make a change in their lives. The question becomes how do you invoke change and keep it.? To change a habit or trait in personality you have 6 stages Precontemplation, Contemplation, Preparedness, Action, Maintenance, and Relapse . Right now I know I'm in the contemplation phase as I recognize that I have a problem and that I want to change the habit to improve my health both physically and mentally because I don't like feeling the way I have been  for the few weeks. I don't like watching Medb back away from me because the anger coming off me is hitting her like a ton of bricks emotionally. 

There are many things in the last year that I'm so proud of, but there are a number of others that I'm not so proud of as well and I recognize its very self destructive and in reality that's a major personality trait I need to change.

Ty for taking time to read my thoughts. for me this blog sometimes is way to release some stress. 

Till next time 

Be Well

 (I strongly suggest if you do go to university take a psychology course or two, they will help you understand a great many things in life.)