Hiding

The last few months I've been hiding more from myself by resuming some game playing. I know that for some you would say thats ok.... for me its not really. Its a form of escape and a tool to not deal with my own issues and fears. I know because I've done it since I first picked up a paddle and started shooting asteroids or playing pong.  What can I have to hide from right now, mostly myself and my sexuality. I fear it plain and simple.

Sometimes it easier to just pick up a paddle and play a game or waste a few hours exploring GW2 but its just hurting myself even more. So over the next few months I need to dial it way back and try to find my center again and get back on track. Easier said then done really lol.

The next few weeks have a lot going on, the move and the end of early term with school. A friend from the US is coming up to see Medb and myself and I'm excited. We get to unpack the storage locker  wheeee and prep for renovations. My mom will be moving into our lower suite in a few months so I will have to seee how that goes.

Tonight I'm stressed even if I did do some exploring today and ditched school.... So I will play for a few hours while my meds kick in. Tomorrow is another story though, its will be the day I start packing and deliver a gift to a dear friend I will also try to organize my bushiness and write the proposal that's rolling around in my head.for the last few months.

The question still remains what kind of girl am I and who do I want to be..... some days I miss child hood... some days I don't

Be Well