Yoga Apparently

As I laid on the mat tonight resting after a yoga work out, I felt my mind drifting, as a question was finally answered. Where would I be one year from now? The time was 11pm EST and a year ago I was in Montreal the night before surgery. Medb and Jen had gone home for the night and would see me around 11 am when I was suppose to be going into surgery. I tried to sleep as it is my escape and sleep didn't really come.  Every few hours they would come check my blood sugar and shoot me with insulin. My levels wouldn't drop.

What sleep I could was broken and filled with night terrors and nurses. It was just short of 6am and they tossed me a gown and slippers telling me I would be prepping for surgery in an hour. Shock and fear hit me all at once because Medb wouldn't be there to see me off. I couldn't say to her I love you one last time before I went up. What if I didn't come out of surgery ok.  For me it was a frighting time ... not the surgery but the unknown. Even today I say I love you way to much... I think because I want her to know if something happened to me.

As they fetched me I kept thinking of the things I haven't done in my life, what I wanted to change and who I want in my life. The hour sped by and even as they stuck the needle in my back I kept trying to think of any reason to stop.... I couldn't.  As i was falling asleep I warned the Doctor to make sure I survive or he wouldn't due to my shield maidens downstairs. The next thing I knew I was being awakened and struggling to fight the sedatives in my body.  I knew she was downstairs and most likely feeding off some adrenalin.

I remember when they brought Rachel down she was bouncing all over the place and wide awake, I could barely sit up .... As the Elevator opened I could hear her and Jen in the main room and she was at my side  very grey and with the best smile I could manage I gave her a smile saying I would be ok and I was ok... the look on her face said everything......

She is my Angel and will always be my best friend and she brings out the best in me, she keeps a lot of me in check.

I got to say those words to her I love you.... And a year later as I laid on the mat I knew I made the right choice and have a direction to grow in. Where will I be next year I don't know, I'll find out and who know I might just tell you all.

Till next post

Be Well

Jyslin