The Ugly Truth

The hardest thing I've had to work on the last few months is looking at my ugly parts. They are there lurking and coming face to face with them have caused me to face a number of painful memories. They've caused me to critically look at myself and challenge a lifetime of fear and doubt.

Life is what ever you make it. Simple and easy and for most of my life I've made it tougher then it really needed to be. I've put up roadblocks, let my health suffer and went to 300 pounds.... For what a feeling that I wasn't worth it, that because I was different. For me those voices of self doubt have done more harm then any part of my journey.

Here is the cold hard truth about transition .... You will be your own worst enemy. You will try to deny yourself happiness. You will blame yourself for things you can't control and when times are rough you will try to destroy yourself from within.

I'll lose my spouse .... Yes you could your relationship was built on a lie, they have a right to be upset ... but they might have the strength to walk with you or at some point still be your friend. My kids will leave and not love me ... If you've raised them well they won't but it's there choice. You have to let go of what the.shell built and see what you become.

For a long time I felt I lost my family my friends but I didn't I lost negative influences in my life that I didn't need. I've built better and healthier relationships in the last 4 years then I did as a shell. I'm starting to look after myself and feel good. I'm growing and no matter how painful it is, no matter how hard it will get ..... You can't take it away from me.

I've grown past the transition to female, because I am female and no one can take that.from me, I'm Kara .... I'm a fighter, I'm a father, I'm a survivor and I'm whoever I wish to be.

Be Well